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This week on Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee compares Sim City to Nazi Germany.

Transcript[]

It's an idea that many people seem to latch onto, that if you were created by some kind of god, then obviously he did it because he loves us so huggy-muggy-much. Never are the holes in this theory more obvious than while playing god games, because it seems that when you place most people in the position of a god and give them responsibility over many tiny lesser beings, then their attitude towards them is usually less about beloved children and more about target practice. SimCity Societies may, on the other hand, support the benevolent god argument, because if being God is this boring, then unconditional love is the only reason I can think of for not having slaughtered the whole unstimulating lot of us around the time we were still squeezing our own smallpox boils for nourishment.

I haven't played a SimCity game since the very first SimCity on the Amiga, which I was never any good at. I remember wondering why no one ever wanted to live in the nice houses I'd built next to the nuclear power station. It made sense to me, it would mean the electricity wouldn't have to travel so far and as such would be less tired and more efficient. I also had difficulty grasping the notion that further away buildings had to be connected to the power station with wires. I just assumed that the little flashing lightning-bolt icon meant that the people in the house were listening to AC/DC.

The gist of SimCity Societies is that the emphasis is on the actual people in the city. First, you have to build places for them to live, but no one will actually move into them until you build four or five statues or fountains around the place, the fussy plebs. Then you build places for them to work, day in, day out. Then you build entertainment venues to stop them realizing that their lives are a never-ending monotony in a walled-off bubble society run by an omnipotent cretin. Then you wait for the game to arbitrarily throw up some more money for you to do it all again.

There's a degree of customization in that you could buy specific buildings that reflect a society based around capitalism, authority, art, scientific learning, existentialism, jam making, nose picking. But all you really need to worry about is making sure that the number of people is as close as possible to the number of jobs and that you plonk down a new cake shop every now and again to stop them moaning.

Don't feel pressured though, they're not exactly difficult to please. I set out to make a brutal, authoritarian dictatorship because it makes my balls feel big. So all my workplaces were things like thought police headquarters and all the venues were propaganda theaters, and most of the gormless fuckers were still content or elated. Christ, this must be how Nazi Germany started! The only time the average mood dipped was when I had a major criminal infestation which I traced to some slum housing I've included for the authentic downtrodden feel. But the problem was instantly fixed by demolishing them and building some more state housing projects which my citizens thankfully tolerated enough to not turn into serial murderers.

I suppose the clinching flaw in this game that revolves around keeping people happy is that the people provoke empathy in the same way Jeremy Clarkson provokes animalistic lust. When you're building stuff (and you're never not building stuff), you remain levitating about a hundred feet above the ground, smacking down your big housing project rubber stamps. So for the most part, the actual people are little scrabbling insects, a tiresome and unnecessary addition to my beautiful homes, like the mildew in the showers.

This isn't like The Sims, where you can zoom in far enough to see the tears roll down their faces every time you delete all the toilets. There isn't enough feedback to let you know you're doing your job properly. And when you aren't doing your job properly, like, say for example, at the point when you start tormenting them for giggles, there's no satisfaction to be had there, either. But even when your city is a hotbed of misery, there's very little consequence, nothing like a halfway decent mass ritualistic suicide, nor is there any significant reward for doing well. All you ever do is build more and more crap over the surrounding countryside, and with no real motivation for doing so unless you have a grudge against trees.

Frequently, it doesn't even matter where you build your crap. Okay, it's still a bad idea to build schools next to the pedophile training center. But you can place statues and other decorating in a cave on the fucking moon and it still somehow cheers everyone up. It's like “baby's first SimCity”, with all the strategy reduced to that of a crossword with only two clues that someone else already filled in.

Ultimately, you could have an equally fulfilling time just drawing a city in MS Paint. That way, you don't have to spend sixty bucks and you can get additional entertainment by drawing all the buildings with tits.

Addenda[]

Built this city on rock and roll: Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw

No disrespect intended towards Hillary Clinton except in this last bit where I say that she looks like an otter chewing on an electric fence

Don't ask me anything this week because I probably hate you

Bonus[]

(A series of Team Fortress 2 stills tells the love story of a Heavy and a Medic. Then the Medic is killed by a Spy, leaving the Heavy to mourn. The ending shows the Heavy placing his knife alongside the Medic's tombstone and walking away. An instrumental version of "Up Where We Belong" plays throughout)

Trivia[]

Just like with the Psychonauts episode, this Zero Punctuation episode of the game, originally released on YouTube on July 21, 2011, was taken down from the website in the late 2010s due to a copyright dispute with the music of the intro and outro. Years later, the video was eventually discovered on November 18, 2022, so it was fixed up and re-uploaded on December 18, 2022, over eleven years after the original airdate on YouTube, albeit with the above-mentioned bonus clip removed due to a licensed music issue.

Screenshots[]

SimCity Societies 1

I remember wondering why no one ever wanted to live in the nice houses I'd built next to the nuclear power station

SimCity Societies 2

I set out to make a brutal, authoritarian dictatorship

SimCity Societies 3

When your city is a hotbed of misery

External Links[]

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2012
Q1 Serious Sam 3: BFE · Top 5 of 2011 · Super Mario 3D Land & Rayman Origins · Sonic Generations · Star Wars: The Old Republic · Amy · Resident Evil: Revelations · Darkness 2 · Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning · NeverDead · Syndicate · Mass Effect 3 · Twisted Metal
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2013
Q1 Top 5 of 2012 · Paper Mario: Sticker Star · Black Knight Sword & Hotline Miami · Anarchy Reigns · DMC: Devil May Cry · The Cave · Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch · Dead Space 3 · Aliens: Colonial Marines · Crysis 3 · Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance · Tomb Raider · SimCity
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2014
Q1 Top 5 of 2013 · Knack · Killzone: Shadow Fall · Survival Special · Broken Age · Might & Magic X: Legacy · The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds · Dark Souls · Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII · Strider · Thief · Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2 · Dark Souls II
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2015
Q1 The Talos Principle · Elite: Dangerous · Five Nights at Freddy's and This War of Mine · Lords of the Fallen · Saints Row: Gat out of Hell · Dying Light · Grim Fandango · Evolve · The Order: 1886 · The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask 3D · Resident Evil Revelations 2 · Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number & Ori and the Blind Forest
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2016
Q1 Top 5 Games of 2015 · Devil's Third · Mario & Luigi: Paper Jam · Assassin's Creed Chronicles · Xenoblade Chronicles X · The Witness & Bombshell · Gravity Rush · XCOM 2 · Firewatch & Layers of Fear · Far Cry Primal · Stardew Valley & SUPERHOT · The Division · Salt and Sanctuary
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2017
Q1 Top 5 Games of 2016 · Let It Die · Dead Rising 4 · Hitman · Gravity Rush 2 · Resident Evil 7 · Yakuza 0 · Nioh · For Honor · Nintendo Switch & Breath of the Wild · Horizon Zero Dawn · Nier Automata · Ghost Recon Wildlands
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2018
Q1 Top 5 of 2017 · Okami HD · PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds · Fortnite and Dusk · Doki Doki Literature Club! · The Inpatient and Doom VFR · Monster Hunter World · Subnautica · Kingdom Come: Deliverance · Metal Gear Survive · Hot Coffee · Hunt Down The Freeman · Ghost of a Tale
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2019
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2020
Q1 Top 5 of 2019 · The 2010s' Most Significant Games · Boneworks · MechWarrior 5: Mercenaries & Wattam · Journey to the Savage Planet · The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners · Kentucky Route Zero · Zombie Army 4: Dead War · Wolcen: Lords of Mayhem · Dreams · Doom Retrospective · Black Mesa · Ori and the Will of the Wisps
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Q4 Hades · Crash Bandicoot 4: It's About Time · Amnesia: Rebirth · Remothered: Broken Porcelain · Ghostrunner · Watch Dogs: Legion · The Dark Pictures Anthology: Little Hope · Assassin's Creed Valhalla · Marvel's Spider-Man: Miles Morales · Yakuza: Like a Dragon · Immortals Fenyx Rising · Cyberpunk 2077
2021
Q1 Top 5 of 2020 · Bugsnax and Super Meat Boy Forever · Medal of Honor: Above and Beyond · Demon's Souls (Remake) · Hitman 3 · The Medium · Werewolf: The Apocalypse - Earthblood · Little Nightmares II · Breathedge · Persona 5 Strikers · Harvest Moon: One World · Loop Hero and Everhood · Evil Genius 2: World Domination
Q2 Story of Seasons: Pioneers of Olive Town · Outriders · Oddworld: Soulstorm · It Takes Two · Balan Wonderworld · Resident Evil Village · Returnal · Biomutant · Subnautica: Below Zero · Miitopia · Necromunda: Hired Gun · Sniper: Ghost Warrior Contracts 2 · Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart
Q3 Scarlet Nexus · Mario Golf: Super Rush & Ender Lilies: Quietus of the Knights · Ys IX: Monstrum Nox · Cruelty Squad · Death's Door and The Forgotten City · The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles · Dreamscaper and Jupiter Hell · Twelve Minutes · No More Heroes III · Psychonauts 2 · Tormented Souls and The Artful Escape · Deathloop · Lost in Random
Q4 Kena: Bridge of Spirits · Far Cry 6 · Metroid Dread · Back 4 Blood · Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy · The Good Life · Sherlock Holmes Chapter One · Call of Duty: Vanguard · Grand Theft Auto: The Trilogy - The Definitive Edition · Resident Evil 4 VR & Oculus Quest 2 · Shin Megami Tensei V · Halo Infinite
2022
Q1 Top 5 of 2021 · 2021 Roundup of Games I Didn't Review · Praey for the Gods · Five Nights at Freddy's: Security Breach · Dying Light 2 Stay Human · Pokémon Legends: Arceus · Not For Broadcast · Elden Ring · Horizon Forbidden West · Babylon's Fall · Ghostwire: Tokyo · Tiny Tina's Wonderlands
Q2 Stranger of Paradise: Final Fantasy Origin · Tunic · Weird West · 13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim · Teardown · Rogue Legacy 2 · Trek to Yomi and Ravenous Devils · Salt and Sacrifice · Hardspace: Shipbreaker · Sifu · The Quarry · Neon White · Card Shark and Postal: Brain Damaged
Q3 Bob's Game · No Man's Sky in 2022 · Rainbow Billy: The Curse of the Leviathan · Stray · PowerWash Simulator and Endling · Hell Pie · Cult of the Lamb · Fashion Police Squad · Saints Row · The Mortuary Assistant · Soul Hackers 2 · Metal: Hellsinger · Splatoon 3 and Serial Cleaners
Q4 Return to Monkey Island · Prodeus · Scorn · A Plague Tale: Requiem · Gotham Knights · Mario + Rabbids Sparks of Hope · Bayonetta 3 · Sonic Frontiers · God of War Ragnarok · Marvel’s Midnight Suns · Evil West · The Callisto Protocol
2023
Q1 The Best, Worst, and Blandest of 2022 · High on Life · 2022 Roundup of Games I Didn't Review · Pentiment · Sailing Era · Forspoken · Hi-Fi Rush · Dead Space (2023) · Hogwarts Legacy · Atomic Heart · Metroid Prime Remastered · Resident Evil 4 (2023) · GDC 2023
Q2 Dredge and Tchia · The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog · Dead Island 2 · Star Wars Jedi: Survivor · Shadows of Doubt · Redfall · Darkest Dungeon II · The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom · The Lord of the Rings: Gollum · Amnesia: The Bunker · Street Fighter 6 · Diablo IV
Q3 System Shock Remake · Final Fantasy XVI · Dave the Diver · Chrono Trigger · Remnant 2 · Viewfinder & My Friendly Neighborhood · Baldur's Gate 3 · En Garde! & Blasphemous 2 · Sea of Stars · Starfield · Bomb Rush Cyberfunk · Lies of P & Chants of Sennaar · Mortal Kombat 1
Q4 El Paso, Elsewhere and ? · Armored Core VI · Assassin's Creed Mirage · Lords of the Fallen (2023) · Sonic Superstars · Alan Wake 2 · Marvel's Spider-Man 2 · RoboCop: Rogue City · The Talos Principle 2 · Persona 5 Tactica & American Arcadia · Avatar: Frontiers of Pandora
2024
Q1 The Best, Worst, and Blandest of 2023 · The Games of 2023 I Didn't Review · Beyond Good and Evil · Prince of Persia: The Lost Crown · Like a Dragon: Infinite Wealth · Graven · Persona 3 Reload · Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League · Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden · Skull and Bones · Pacific Drive
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